One morning last week I reeeeaaally wanted a bagel with cream cheese, but to my displeasure we were out of cream cheese. We were out of cream cheese because we had just baked approximately a billion cheesecakes. Thus – I decided to put cheesecake on my bagel. I posted this to facebook and people seemed to like the idea, so here for any of you who missed it is how to make a bagel with cheesecake on it.

Step 1: Get a bagel.

Step 2: Put cheesecake on it.

Step 3 (optional): Top with lox

Step 4: Enjoy! And if you try it, let me know what you think.

If you will allow me a personal rant for a second, I would like to expound on what is possibly one of the stupidest ideas ever.

Starting next year, MIT will institute a required meal plan for students living in undergraduate dormitories, to the tune of $1900 for freshmen and $1500 for upperclassmen, despite the fact that MIT hosts a meager 4 dining halls, all of which, I might add, are pretty dang small. I don’t really see how they’re planning to fit 5,000 undergrads into 4 dining halls, each of which seat about 100 people or less, every day for dinner. Oh, that’s right, didn’t I mention? They don’t serve breakfast or lunch. They still expect  students to provide for themselves the other 2 meals a day, which for those who don’t like to cook (the majority, I would guess) probably adds up to a higher cost than the dining plan. The MIT campus is rife with food stores for a reason, many of which have become integrated into institute tradition, such as Anna’s Taqueria or the legion of food trucks now located behind the medical building.

I have eaten at an MIT dining hall exactly once in my entire time there, and there is a very good reason for that: their food sucks. I mean,  for reals. It’s exactly what you would expect from a cafeteria, which is just fine with me if you choose to pay for it, but forcing old vegetables and floppy, undercooked tofu (I was a vegetarian at the time of this meal) down student’s gullets while telling them it’s in their best interest is not in any way acceptable.

MIT Dining’s defense of this ludicrous plan is that it will “allow students more opportunities for better and nutritious food in the future,” or some nonsense like that. In other words, they’re making students shell out almost $2,000 on top of the $40,000+ for tuition, to create a program for future students to enjoy. There’s also something in there about getting students eating healthier, more nutritious meals, but again, it’s not a choice. It’s a classic “you might not like it, but it’s for your own good” scenario. It might just be me, but this sounds an awful lot like Social Security. Or Communism.

All I can say is, thank God I moved off campus.